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All posts for the month August, 2016

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 11 – Favorite Manager/Valet

Published August 20, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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My favorite manager is a man that eats like I do, gets angry like I do, and is quick-tempered like I am, but can spit on that mic better than almost anyone could ever hope to. Watching James E. Cornette is the best. What could make it better? Fire him up in his “retirement” over real-world stupidity.  Ignoring the shoot interviews and documentaries, Jim is still hellacious on the mic.

Not too much I can say that you can’t see for yourself.  You can search YouTube for his promos to get a feel for it, and many of his matches managing The Midnight Express are also uploaded there. A talented manager packaged with an excellent tag team ended up as one of many great choices on the part of Bill Watts.  Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey, and later Stan Lane, would have wrestled great matches regardless of Cornette’s involvement, but there’s no doubt that the Cornette’s mic work helped get them into multiple Tag Team Championships.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 10 – Least Favorite Male Wrestler

Published August 19, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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A heel’s job is to get me to hate them, so I watch for them to get their comeuppance.  Hell, every wrestler’s job, either directly or indirectly, is to get people into the arena and/or to tune in on television.

I fucking hate The Miz. He’s trash. I don’t want to see him get his comeuppance, I don’t want to see him period. I turn off the television whenever I see him, and that’s the exact opposite of doing your job right.  I don’t like the way he wrestles, I don’t like his mic work, I don’t like the way he looks, I don’t like his face, I don’t like the way he bumps, and I can’t think of a single redeeming quality.

Main event at WrestleMania? Cringeworthy.  World Champion? Nauseating. Skills on the microphone?  Mindnumbing. Physique? I could whip his ass. Ring work? I’d bet that Lex Luger could wrestle a better match today than The Miz ever will.  Every decent match The Miz has ever had has been due to either his opponent dragging every ounce of latent talent out of him kicking and screaming or his tag partner carrying the team the entire time.  When he opens his mouth, he can turn a great segment into a shitty one.  Him holding the Intercontinental Championship is on par with Hornswoggle holding the Cruiserweight Championship, except the WWE isn’t going to be putting the IC Championship out-to-pasture anytime soon.

If you’re so bad that I would rather turn off my television than put up with you for a segment, you suck.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 09 – Least Favorite Female Wrestler

Published August 19, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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I cannot pick a least favorite female wrestler.  Every name that comes to mind belongs to someone that’s not even a wrestler . . . they all belong to super models that got hired into wrestling companies.  Pick one of the women I’ve seen throw punches back and forth and not connect with a single one over the past 6 years in the WWE and you might find your answer.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 08 – Favorite Angle

Published August 17, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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It is too hard to choose just one, so I’ll just go with the entirety of the buildup to Steve Austin vs The Rock at WrestleMania X-Seven.  The Debra shit aside, the entire buildup was godlike.  The two biggest guys in wrestling, leading into a stacked WrestleMania, with great promos and in-ring segments throughout. The match ended up being one of the biggest fuck-ups in the history of professional wrestling, but by god that build was the best.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 07 – Favorite Stable

Published August 17, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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I don’t really like stables.  It’s rare that I find a duo-dynamic that I like, and even rarer for a group.  I wouldn’t count The Midnight Express or Team Extreme as stables, since they’re just tag teams with a manager.  The nWo went from fun to overbearing too quick. Degeneration-X wasn’t my favorite in the beginning, and the enjoyable times I had watching them was the tag-team parts. I’m not a big stable guy.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 06 – Favorite Tag Team

Published August 13, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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The Brothers of Destruction

Two absolute badasses exerting unparalleled force on everyone else in the ring. They really only had a handful of memorable matches, and the majority of what I enjoyed was the random “comedy” they did, if you can call it that, in the middle of them manhandling their opponents.  It’s not really easy to talk about, since constant feuding and breaking apart kept them from really staying together for very long each time they got together.

My favorite match was a one off tag match in 2006 against Mr. Kennedy and MVP.  The match was just fun. There was plenty of Teddy Long too, and that always helps.

30 Days of Wrestling Challenge: Day 05 – Favorite Promotion

Published August 12, 2016 by GravediggerNALK

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I’m going to cut to the chase. My favorite wrestling promotion is the WWE.  Has it had the best track record of *insert anything I care about in professional wrestling here*? No, not even close.  It just happens that they’ve featured they things I enjoy in greater quantity than anyone else, often at higher-quality . . . having Jim Ross on commentary definitely helped.

Is it hard to watch WWE TV? Absolutely, especially when they insist on calling SmackDown “SmackDown LIVE” every time, when the only people that care about it being live are the people that already know it’s being shown live now.  Are there WWE performers that I would rather turn off my TV than watch? Absolutely, I missed 45 minutes of this week’s SmackDown because I turned off my TV instead of watching a second more of The Miz, because I was afraid he would open his mouth or, worse, get into the ring. Do I think it’s boring as hell to have everyone come out and cut promos in the ring instead of doing them backstage with an announcer?  Absolutely, it looks like a goddamned cartoon when everyone and there mother comes out, music playing, has a microphone, and talks . . . in their wrestling gear . . . and doesn’t wrestle . . . in the wrestling ring. Once a night is fine, but every other segment is ludicrous, especially when half the roster can’t talk for shit and should be doing taped promos backstage. Can I tell you what’s going to happen next in at least 50% of the tag team matches on WWE TV? Yeah, because the majority of the tag matches have been the exact same shit for the past 18+ years. Ambrose/Ziggler vs The Wyatt Family on SmackDown this week was garbage, because it was the same old shit.

But for every minute of absolutely shitty commentary, there has been just as much good commentary. For every Miz, Brock Lesnar, and Sable there’s been a Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, and Nattie Neidhart. For every cookie-cutter tag team match there’s been an excellent one.  For every shitty in-ring promo that goes too long there’s been a well done promo either in the ring or backstage . . . well, that’s definitely not true, but it’s going to help me sleep better tonight.  And for every punch and kick a supermodel has thrown that missed completely and got sold anyway, there’s been an opportunity to go piss and think about how sad that is.

Actually, all of that’s just a joke. The WWE is my favorite because I lost a bet when they actually found something for Chuck Palumbo that I genuinely enjoyed (before they ruined it).

 

 

 

 

That’s a joke too. It’s because they employed Scotty 2 Hotty for so long.

 

 

 

That is serious, Scotty is in my Top 10 favorite wrestlers. I swear.