Video Game Review

All posts in the Video Game Review category

Video Game Review #002 – HuniePop

Published May 10, 2017 by GravediggerNALK

huniepop_logo

Review:

I am going to preface this review by telling you that I intended to put money towards the Kickstarter for this game, but I may or may not have put all of that money towards going ham at Anime Weekend Atlanta that year.  And if you did not already know, this game is about fucking multiple women as quickly as possible.

The game starts off simple: You ain’t fuckin’.  Then, you meet a fuck-fairy.  Now, you’re fuckin’ (if you’re good at Bejeweled).

The fairy wants you to have as much sex with all of these different women as soon and as much as possible.  You are given a Quantum Leap level of information about your situation/subject upon meeting them, you do regular dating simulator shenanigans to learn the rest, and, if you don’t screw it up, y’all do the nasty after a few dates.  The act of sex is simulated by you playing speed-Bejeweled, and you’re rewarded for getting her to climax by a set of well drawn images of the girl in question. Then, you get to fuck the fairy.  Afterwards, Lady Palutena Venus shows up . . . and you fuck her.

Unlike most games of the genre, this game requires meter management, time management, and the moral compass to be in a sexual relationship with a mother and her (adult) daughter at the same time.  So, if you’re like me and play Guilty Gear (or BlazBlue), these concepts should not be foreign to you.

I put in about 17 hours over the course of a day and a half, and it is probably the best 17-hour distraction I could have asked for.

Story isn’t as comfy or emotional as some eroge, but it does provide a set of likeable (or hate-able) characters that you will end up fucking in the end anyway.

Scoring:

  • Gameplay: 10/10 (This is a dating simulator/eroge + knock-off Bejeweled. HuniePop definitely covered everything it needed to for those parameters)
  • Story: 8/10 (Read above)
  • Art: 9/10 (Ditto)
  • Overall: 9/10 (As far as American porn games go, this is near the top of the heap)

Information:

Title: HuniePop

Year: 2015

Platform: PC (Can be purchased uncensored through MangaGamer and Humble Bundle, and censored through Steam.  However, the Steam version can be patched to be uncensored with almost zero effort.)

Designer: Ryan Koons

Genre: Dating Simulator, Eroge

Video Game Review #001 – The Legend of Zelda

Published May 10, 2017 by GravediggerNALK

800px-TLoZ_Black_Logo

Review:

“IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS.”

Grab that sword and get to work, Link.  Playing this game for the first time 30 years after its initial release was a little jarring at first.  Realizing that I had not missed anything, and that it was up to me to find the dungeons and, eventually, defeat Ganon with as few clues as possible, I traveled the map from end to end killing enemies and going into every nook and cranny I could (and dying a lot).  Movement and combat were a little tough at first (Note: Playing with a GCN controller was a mistake; Using my friend’s SNES-like GCN controller made it a lot better), but it’s nothing that cannot be adapted to with a little practice.

Navigating my first dungeon was difficult, as I was still adapting to combat and trying to learn how to approach some of the enemies, but, after the completion of the first dungeon, things become much easier (as far as understanding went).  Many of the dungeon areas are simple alterations of previous levels, but the constant movement and puzzle solving made it all worth it to get to the next Triforce fragment (and heart).  Many of the puzzles (especially the forest) were exhausting, but it was well worth it in the end.

If you are not sure if you would enjoy playing it because of how it looks, think about it like this: It is a single, small step down from Generation 1 Pokémon graphically.  Everything looks good, every environment is definable and recognizable, and the enemies are detailed.  Link, Zelda, and Ganon’s sprites are all detailed enough for them to be recognizable if you are familiar with their more modern appearances.  I do not really know why you would focus on the graphics of an NES game, but, for what it is worth, this is worth it.

If you are looking for a game with “a level of difficulty not often found in modern video games,” I would recommend playing this.  The original Legend of Zelda does not feed you anything, barely points you in the direction of your next objective, explains mechanics even less, and tops it all off with a satisfying ending.  Easily one of the most satisfying games that I have played in a long time.

“FINALLY, PEACE RETURNS TO HYRULE.”

Scoring:

  • Gameplay: 9/10
  • Story: N/A (Most of the “story” comes from the opening scroll, and most comments from NPCs are hints or world-building)
  • Overall: 8.5/10

Information:

Title: The Legend of Zelda

Year: 1986 (JPN), 1987 (USA)

Original Platform: Famicom Disk System (JPN), Nintendo Entertainment System (USA)

Platform Used: Nintendo GameCube (Collector’s Edition Re-Release, 2003)

Directors: Shigeru Miyamoto, Takashi Tezuka

Genre: Action-Adventure, Puzzle